5 Steps to Smell Better in the New Year

Greenville comedian Jake Sharon
Greenville cat Oprah Sharon
Hi!  I'm Jake!

Happy New Year, adults, children, and equestrians! Happy New Year, humans, aliens, zoo animals and office supply store employees!

Every year, we set resolutions on how we will better our lives. This next year, let's endeavour to better the lives of the people around us.

Below are five steps to smell better in the new year:



The NATO Phonetic Alphabet

Hi!  I'm Jake!

Learning is important. If you don't know that, you have a lot to learn.

WHAT IS THE NATO PHONETIC ALPHABET?

life before the NATO Phonetic Alphabet
In the mid 1900s, the U.S. Navy, the North Atlantic Treaty Organization (NATO), and The Police got together for a big pow wow.

Everybody was complaining that reading their serial numbers off to tech support was just too difficult.  Tech support friends would hear a "B" when you meant to say a "V." It was a real pain in the "D."

So, the U.S. Navy, NATO, and The Police created the NATO Phonetic Alphabet.  That way instead of saying "C, as in Commie," and "D, as in Deez Nuts," you could say Charlie or Delta. The NATO Phonetic Alphabet is wonderful and helpful and efficient.



TOO HARD.

Unfortunately, all the letters in the NATO Phonetic Alphabet are just too dang hard to remember.  So, I made a video to help you remember the NATO Phonetic Alphabet. That video is below.

Dunkin Donuts Surveys 2: Frowns and Lies

Hi!  I'm Jake!

This summer, when my wife and I moved to Greenville, South Carolina, we had five criteria for selecting our new home:

  1. Our home must have a dishwasher.
  2. Our home needs electricity and plumbing.
  3. Our home can't smell bad.
  4. Our home has to be big enough to store all of Oprah's toys.
  5. Most importantly, our home needs to be within walking distance of Dunkin Donuts. 

OUR HOME NEEDS TO BE WITHIN WALKING DISTANCE OF DUNKIN DONUTS

Living within walking distance of Dunkin Donuts was Callie's and my most important criterion for selecting our home. That way when we eat donuts all the time, we can walk off all the fat.  Plus, if we have too much coffee caffeine in our system, we can yell and kick our daily trash cans, on the way home, outside.  Yelling and kicking trash cans is an outside activity. Just ask your mom*.

We were excited about moving next to Dunkin Donuts- until we visited the Dunkin Donuts!  Turns out, compared to all the other Dunkin donuts I have been to, the Dunkin Donuts Dunkin Donuts at 1779 Woodruff Road, Greenville, South Carolina, 29607, is sucky.  Below, I will tell you why.

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