Pig Pics 2

Hi!  I'm Jake!

I am 36-years-old. This is shameful.

WARNING!


Pig Pics are crude.  If you keep reading this blog entry, you will see crudely drawn animals doing crudely inappropriate things.  Instead of reading this entry and viewing this garbage, go do something else.
If you disregard this warning, and then get mad at these pictures, then that is because you don't know how warnings work.  Warnings mean stay away!
Enough oinking. Enjoy the following Pig Pics.

#PIGPICS I SOLD AT HYENA'S COMEDY CLUB IN FORT WORTH, TEXAS


Snowblower

TITLE: "Snowblower"
MEDIA: Sharpie on Office Depot legal pad
DATE: 3/7/14
PRICE: SOLD FOR $1!

Matt the bartender holding "Snowblower"
"Snowblower" depicts a snowman going down on a snowpig's inappropriately-placed carrot! At least the snowman is getting his beta carotene.

Matt the bartender actually told me "This was the best dollar I spent all week!"  Wow, Matt: if that was the best dollar you spent all week, I am too frightened to see the worst thing you bought for a dollar!

Old Snowblower
After I sold "Snowblower" to Matt, Kyle complained "Man! I wish I would have gotten here earlier so I could have 'Snowblower!'" So I made Kyle his very own snowblower, "Old Snowblower!" My first commissioned Pig Pic!
TITLE: "Old Snowblower"
MEDIA: Sharpie on Office Depot legal pad
DATE: 3/7/14
PRICE: SOLD FOR $2!

Kyle gave me $2 bucks for this.
Canes cost extra!
"Old Snowblower" is just like regular "Snowblower," except the blowing snowman in this scenario is wrinkly- and he has a cane! Turns out you can teach an old snowman new tricks!

Also, Kyle wanted to give me $1, but all he had was a five-dollar-bill. So I made change.  He accidentally didn't take all his change.  I still had $2.  He told me the extra dollar was my bonus for being honest.  See?  I make pigs, but I am not a pig.  Honesty is its own reward.  So is an extra dollar.


Know your audience.  
In Fort Worth, three drunk guys WILL buy a pig pooping Obama!
After selling the Obamacare Sheep, I figured I'd make a snowpig pooping out Obama. Turns out that was a good idea.  A bachelor party bought "Complicated Pig Pic" for their bachelor friend.

TITLE: "Complicated Pig Pic"
MEDIA: Sharpie on Office Depot legal pad
DATE: 3/7/14
PRICE: SOLD FOR $1!


The bachelor party and "Complicated Pig Pic"

Now I'm in the picture! Wow!

2 drunk ladies will also buy a pig pooping Obama!
After selling the first snowpig pooping out Obama, I figured I should make another one and sell that.. Turns out that was a good idea.


TITLE: "Obama Pig Poo"
MEDIA: Sharpie on Office Depot legal pad
DATE: 3/7/14
PRICE: SOLD FOR $1!

This snowpig pooping out Obama has a different name than the first one.  So, it is still one of a kind!  Valuable!

For some reason, these ladies are making the
"peace symbol."
Hippies!
Yeah, I just realized these ladies are making the peace sign, a hippie symbol.  In the 60s, the hippies were pot-smoking Democrats!  Meanwhile these Fort Worth, Texas ladies are holding a snowpig pooping out the current Democrat president!

Huh!  Ladies are complicated!


A drunk couple on a date will also buy a pig pooping Obama! Romance and doo doo are in the air!
TITLE: "Snowpig Poopin OBAMA"
MEDIA: Sharpie on Office Depot legal pad
DATE: 3/7/14
PRICE: SOLD FOR $1!


One way to impress a date is to buy her poop.
The lady looks surprised by the poop!


THANK YOU NOTE #PIGPICS

Sent a thank-you #pigpic to Hyena's Comedy Club's owner, Randy Butler- for FREE!





Sent a thank-you #pigpic to my longtime pals Nancy and Jeremy!  Here is a monkey boning a snowpig! 
What a great way to say thank-you!


For realsies: Thanks for making a pledge to The Wedding AlBUM Kickstarter!


Sent a thank-you #pigpic to my Fort Worth coushsurfing.org hosts, Brad and Marybeth!
Just realized maybe I shouldn't have sent this to them. Wonder if I'll get to stay in their home again!


Sent a thank-you #pigpic to my Dallas coushsurfing.org hosts, Brad and Tanja!  Also, thanked them for letting me sell their sheep!  Just to balance things out, this pig is pooping "Republican Stuff."
even steven!
To see why I thanked them, Check out the Obamacare Sheep story here.


#SXSW #PIGPICS

My long-time comedy pal, Ben Kronberg was in town for South By Southwest.  To welcome him back to Austin, I made him "Big City Pic!"

TITLE: "Big City PigPic"
MEDIA: Sharpie on Office Depot legal pad
DATE: 3/10/14
PRICE: FREE FOR BEN KRONBERG!

Ben Kronberg and I once produced a show called "The Poop Show"


#PIGPICS IN THE RIO GRANDE VALLEY

After my show at Cine El Rey Theater, made this piece of high-brow art. This pig just pooped out some shit! 
Shit!

Not sure if the following picture is artsy or just really lazy.  I wrote the word "shit" on a shit!
TITLE: "Shit!"
MEDIA: Sharpie on Office Depot legal pad
DATE: 3/12/14
PRICE: SOLD FOR $5!
Gunnar is moving from the Rio Grande Valley to Iowa.  He is leaving palm trees and the cartel for corn and manure smells!  Might as well take a souvenir!

Gunnar likes it!  

Wow.  First time for everything.  I had never drawn penis feet before! Marisela bought a shirt and a CD so I just gave her this one-of-a-kind masterpiece for FREE!

TITLE: "Cockfoot Joe"
MEDIA: Sharpie on Office Depot legal pad
DATE: 3/12/14
PRICE: GAVE TO MARSELA FOR FREE!

Marsela proudly  holding Cockfoot Joe

SUMMARY:

Made $13 off these #pigpics!  Wow!  Including the #pigpics from Pig Pics 1, my total income is $40!  Minus the $7 I spent on legal pads, so far, I have made $33 on #pigpics!  You people are silly.

I guess overall, it is the simple- and I do mean simple- but it's the simple things in life that make us happy.  

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