Pennies From Heaven

Hi!  I'm Jake!

I like money.
  


PENNIES DON'T FALL FROM HEAVEN

Margaret Thatcher once said “Pennies don’t fall from heaven. They have to be earned on Earth.” That is good thinking on God’s part because when you drop pennies from the Empire State Building, they pick up enough inertia to dent the sidewalk. So if a penny fell all the way from heaven, it would slice you in half from your head to your butthole. Cha-ching ker-splat!


"Penny Slicer"
#pigpics by Jake Sharon


MONEY TO BURN

Or, maybe the penny would burn up while entering the Earth’s atmosphere. Maybe all those times you pray for money, God is sending you cash, but it’s just burning up on the way down!

"Pennies From Heaven"
#pigpics by Jake Sharon




WE DO NOT WANT GOD TO CHUCK MONEY AT US.

If God really wanted you to have all that money, he’d call you, ask you how much you need, put it in an indestructible container that could pass through the Earth’s atmosphere and send it to you in time for you to put it in your account before all your bills were due. In fact, maybe he could send you a little extra so you could get something nice for yourself like a pogo stick.

"Money Prayer"
#pigpics by Jake Sharon





SUMMARY:

In summation, bums, get a job because God isn’t sending you money. Also, God, please send me a pogo stick- but don’t chuck it through the Earth’s atmosphere. The last thing I need is a flaming hot pogo stick whalloping my head.

Also, here is a creepy angel #pigpic!

"SnowPig Angel"
#pigpics by Jake Sharon

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