Last week, I headlined at one of the first places I ever performed at outside of Denver, Greeley, Colorado's Down Under Comedy Club. The Friday night emcee, Jsin Novak, explained that the Down Under is like Jason Voorhees: No matter how many times you kill it, it keeps coming back.
WHY IS IT CALLED THE DOWN UNDER?
Because the club is located down some stairs, under the King Soopers. To find it, you have to go around back, where you'd normally assume there'd be dumpsters. Nope: there aren't any dumpsters back there. I think Greg Baumhauer may have repeatedly used the phrase "Cum Dumpster" back there, but in the basement, behind/ underneath the King Soopers is where you'll find the Down Under club.
THE FIRST TIME I PERFORMED AT THE DOWN UNDER
was back in 2001 or 2002. I had just done the Comedy Works contest and infamous Denver comedian Troy Baxley had judged me in the contest, liked what he saw- so he asked if I wanted to go to Greeley. Definitely! Troy, Clint Rains (now Harrison Rains) and I headed up there. In the car-ride up from Denver, I wrote a joke about how underwear keeps getting tinier so pretty soon ladies will just wear a band-aid, or a poon strip.
I ended up performing at the Down Under for years. There was always one show on Thursday and one show on Saturday. The unwritten rule was that one show would always be good and one show would always be bad. If you had a good Thursday show, watch out: Saturday was about to suck. If Thursday was bad, no problem: Saturday would rock!
Here's a video from when I first started performing in Greeley. Back then, I talked a lot more about my butt.
THE DOWN UNDER CHANGED HANDS
Eventually, the owner for 15 years, John, sold the club to his bartender, Meagan. Under Meagan's reins, the club switched to Friday-Saturday. That was cool.
Meagan had the club for a little while, but things started to go downhill. The crowds began to diminish. On some nights, there'd be 7 people in the room- 3 of which were Meagan and her 2 friends sitting at the bar talking loudly to each other. Eventually Meagan sold it too.
|My old headshot |
(where I talked to a horse).
Also, the meth heads closed down the kitchen. The Down Under used to have decent food. That's actually the only place I was ever tricked into eating Rocky Mountain Oysters. They weren't bad- until I found out what they were. But the meth heads closed down the kitchen. I think they sold the kitchen for meth.
Mister Meth was known for 2 things (besides meth): 1) drunkenly heckling the comedians during their entire sets, and 2) he had a tattoo of a pair of lady legs that spread out from his hairy belly button. This button hole was the lady hole! Gross! He pretty much showed that nasty tattoo to every person he met.
Surprise! The Meth heads ran that place into the ground! After over 15 years of comedy, The Down Under closed. I can't remember which year that was (possibly 2008).
IN 2012, THE DOWN UNDER RE-OPENED.
As the new owners , DM and Josh surveyed the room, they saw headshots from hundreds of comedians floating in the floody puddle. They salvaged about 15 headshots- mine included. They put it back up on the wall next to the 14 other comedians' headshots they rescued. Most of the guys on that wall don't do comedy anymore.
LAST WEEK, THERE WAS A DRUNK LADY
who had a really trashy laugh! After several outbursts, she and her man-friend eventually left the show. But while they were there, I recorded about 50 super-loud, trashy laughs and cut them together to make this video, Trashy Lady Laughs:
The Down Under is back. I'm happy to say that unlike my experiences of yesteryear, both shows were great! Special shout-outs to comedians Dickey Bill Wagner, Tim Messenger, Marcus John, and Jsin Novak. Great job guys!
Also, the kitchen is back.
Come see me next time!
Bye! I'm Jake!
UPDATE: The Down Under is closed again.