Hi! I'm Jake!
Naturally, a lot of you readers have been asking me about what "moshing" is.
what is moshing?
The 1980s invented a dance called moshing, aka slam dancing, aka physical silly time dance, aka group shoving. This typically happens at punk and/or metal concerts. Participants shove each other, slam into each other, elbow each other, and run at each other in a charging rhino fashion.
Essentially, moshing is like bumper cars for people who don’t drive. It's like rough-housing, but standing up. Ever get in a shoving match where everybody wins? That's what mosh slamming is.
how does mosh silly-time slam dancing work?
A bunch of people (usually young men and old boys) repeatedly slam into each other. This is definitely not a sexual act.
Silly slamming dancing entails a significant amount of physical exertion- which produces euphoria similar to runner's high. The intense contact massages the slam dancers' stiff muscles. More euphoria. This is definitely not a sexual act.
Sometimes the silly-time mosh slam dancers bleed. Huh.
variations: can i mosh dance to any old music?
Yes. Moshing-silly-time-non-sexual-rough-touching-dancing typically occurs at punk, metal, or bebop jazz concerts. But that doesn't mean that's where mosh-squishing-strangers-ouchy-dancing has to happen!
Next time you are at a classical concert, start a mosh pit. The War of 1812 Overture will finally have some action!
I dare you to mosh to Yanni.
Mosh dance at a Madonna concert and all the sweaty body slamming will turn into slippery wet hugs. Yay!
conclusion:
I don't care if moshing is forcibly push-dancing into other males. It is definitely not sexual. It's just an innocent act of dancing with other sweaty fellas, slamming into other sweaty fellas to the beat! You could do it with your dad and feel proud. Stop asking if it is sexual. It is not. Moshy-silly-slammy-dancy-squeezy is not sexual.
future: robots?
Finally, a valid question. This is what you should have been asking me about, everyone! Robots are already here, moshing amongst us, body slamming us, collecting data and tissue samples. Most of the time, they are indiscernible from regular humans. It is only a matter of time before the metal ones take over moshing completely.
you have more questions? fine! fine!
If you have any other questions about moshing or robots, please leave a comment here. I will answer right away.
Bye! I'm Jake!
Bye! I'm Jake!
