Facebook Farewells

Hi. I’m Jake.

If you are reading this message, then I most likely Facebook messaged you to let you know we will no longer be Facebook friends.

I want you to know, though, it has little or nothing to do with you. It’s not you. It’s not me. It’s Facebook.


Reasons include:
  • Too much arguing.
  • I never check Facebook.
  • The Cambridge Analytica thing.
  • Even more data breaches. 
  • Facebook covering up their data breaches.
  • The ads that somehow know what my friends and I talked about two seconds ago.
  • Hate groups love Facebook.
  • Fake news.
  • Real news.
  • Mark Zuckerberg looks like a virgin who gets laid only because of his superwealth. That's classic have/havenot/havesex economics.
  • I have focus issues.  
  • What if my parents get an account?
  • Now Facebook is trying to be like Netflix/ Amazon/ Hulu/ Youtube Red.  Sorry, Facebook, but we're full up on entertainment options!  
  • Trump.
  • Facebook was made for college students to rate other students' attractiveness. My wife doesn't want me to rate college students by their attractiveness.
  • I already have other social media I like better.
  • And frankly, it's the comment threads. So yeah, you might be partly to blame.

But I'm annoyed, scared, violated, and bored. I’m done with Facebook. I’m done.

Going forward, I plan to use my time for Netflix, riding bikes, eating lots of food, walking dogs, doing improv, painting, whittling at the barn, and hanging out with friends in real life.

12.09.18 UPDATE: 

If you are wondering why I picked you specifically to remove you as a facebook friend, it is totally random.  Well, it's kind of random.  I have a process.  You can read about it here.


If we are actual friends, please find a way keep in touch. If not, I’m surprised you read this whole letter. That’s neat.

Bye! I’m Jake!

Facebook not for dogs.
Stick finger in Josie mouth.
Stick with real life friends.