Happy Baby Mama's Day!

Hi!  I'm Jake!

It's Mother's Day!

POSITIVE:

It's Mother's Day!  I love my mother.  I love my wife's mothers.  I love all the comedy mothers out there too!  If you love your mother, call her or give her a hug!  They sacrifice so many things and rarely get the recognition they deserve! So glad there's a day set aside to appreciate them.

NEGATIVE:

An artist's rendering of
Cecil's 2nd baby mama
smoking during pregnancy.
©2013 Jake Sharon All Rights Reserved

Mother's Day celebrates all mothers- but not all of them deserve it!  There are a lot of crappy, schnapps-soaked turd-basket mothers out there.  Some moms neglect their babies. Some moms sell their babies!  True story!  Those moms don't deserve a minute of admiration, let alone a whole day!  They need a Be A Better Mother's Day!

I used to know a dude named Cecil.  His second baby's mama smoked the whole time she was pregnant. That's so selfish!  I asked her when she was going to quit.  She said "It's only the first month. I got 8 months to quit."  What a scumbag!

Seven months later she said "I've been smoking 8 months of my pregnancy.  One more month ain't going to make a difference."  Neither is her kid!

I would normally never say this, but I hope god aborted that baby.  I hope she had a really big, difficult 10-month stillborn.  I hope it hurt coming out- like a bucket of fried, poky chicken bones.  I'm not saying I don't want the baby to live, but it's probably better off if it just goes straight to heaven.  If that "lady" can't take care of the baby while it's in her poisonous womb, she's not going to do much better for it when it gets out.

CONCLUSION:

If you have a good mom, thanks for celebrating her today. If you had a bad mom(not just somebody you don't like, but an actually bad, smoking during pregnancy, gambling your college money mom), please tell her I said she sucks.

Bye!  I'm Jake!