|Nobody wants to hear you|
talk about yourself all day.
Then I watched a friend cut a client's hair. During the haircut, I watched/ talked a lot about myself. That probably marred the hair client's experience. How are they supposed to feel special if I am gabbing about me the whole time? I'm just some hairy dude who loves Dunkin Donuts and refuses to wear shoes until showtime.
After disturbing the serene vibe of the hairstyling time, I stealthily looked around my host's house for a plunger. I was staying at a friend's house for three days- and the toilet had been blocked up for two of them. It was time to fix stuff. I had been using this little mini-plunger, but it hadn't been doing shit. The mini plunger handle was almost completely submersed in the toilet's frothy, papery, yellow depths. Little splashback drips beaded on my hand. This tiny plunger wasn't working. Honestly, how could it? The rubber part of it was smaller than the hole in the bottom of the toilet. There was no way to make a seal. What was this tiny plunger even for? Training toilets? High-tech bed pans? I tell you one thing: it wasn't for a big boy toilet. It was too small. If this cute little plunger had a unicycle, it could join the circus. It was a freak!
|Crap. If you are regularly completing only 20% of your|
to do list, your plans are unrealistic, you're lazy,
or you're bad with time management.
Skip ahead way far in the future, to tonight. I performed stand-up at a casino. Then I realized all the promo I made (my poster, my website calendar, my tweets and my facebook statuses), all had the wrong name of the casino. Oops.
They fed us lobster, crab, prime rib, chocolate fondue and more at their buffet.
The show was fun. I am not going to say more about it than that. It's a secret.
My friend Brent Gill then spent $20 on candy and ice cream. Not even kidding. He is going to die-a-betes.
I sold a couple of my new "What's up, Bruncle?" shirts. They are on sale for $10 until September 30th. then, they go up to $20. Here's a goofy ass picture:
|Jake's dead eyes.|
Also, get yourself a Bruncle here:
|If you forget to buy sliced cheese,|
sometimes in life,you have
to forgive yourself.
I wish I had packed some cheese for this gig. I really like cheese. Instead, I ate greek yogurt alone in my hotel room. My hotel room doesn't have spoons, so I had to use two coffee stir sticks as yogurt-scooping chopsticks.