Hi! I'm Jake!
Happy Halloween! It's time for a poem about a black cat. This one is called Oprah Is A Biter!
To the right, you'll see a picture of Oprah. To the right of that, you'll see the edge of your screen. To the right of that, you'll see whatever is in your apartment, home, office, or bathroom. If your place is messy, clean that shit up. It's like Einstein says “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, then shove it in your bhole."
Below, you'll see a poem called Oprah Is A Biter!
OPRAH IS A BITER
 |
| Callie's claws |
I love my cat, Oprah.
But Oprah bites and claws! My wife hates that!
A swarm of gutter cats live in our apartment parking lot.
That's because our apartment managers feed them.
Also, nobody ever spays the cats.
Cats hang around a long time when you don't cut up their business parts.
We have one indoor cat and we heard a cat fight between two outdoor cats on our back porch.
That freaked out Oprah real bad. She was hiss-terical.
 |
| Oprah's butt |
If you want peaceful cats, feed them and neuter them.
Cats are mathematical: add food but subtract their humpinstuff.
Also, our cat has long, violent claws. No matter how many times Oprah scratches Callie, she will not agree to de-claw the cat. My wife is vehemently against declawing!
Why is it humane to surgically alter the reproductive organs but let the kitty keep her weapons?
I guess that way everybody gets cut.
You cut the cat's junk and the cat cuts back. In your face!
Halloween,
Bye! I'm Jake!
