Hi! I'm Jake!
So, I'm a painter (art, not butt-crack).
I make my most recent paintings in my basement. There's mud all over down there. There's a broken stair on the way down. Sharp pieces of metal hang from the ceiling. Plus, I have seen at least 10 kinds of spiders. I saw one spider that was as big as a quarter. Plus, there are rusty nails everywhere. So yeah: it's totally safe for me to fingerpaint down there.
In short, I make art. I have a creepy basement. I do improv. I'm a hero. All these things but the basement can be explored at the Bovine Metropolis Theater. The Bovine is not paying me any money for this unadulterated promotion. I like money.
Bye! I'm Jake!