Balance in the Basement

Hi! I'm Jake!

So, I'm a painter (art, not butt-crack).

I make my most recent paintings in my basement. There's mud all over down there. There's a broken stair on the way down. Sharp pieces of metal hang from the ceiling. Plus, I have seen at least 10 kinds of spiders. I saw one spider that was as big as a quarter. Plus, there are rusty nails everywhere. So yeah: it's totally safe for me to fingerpaint down there.

That's the good news: Even though my basement is falling apart, I have been making some really fun paintings. I create while my basement disintegrates. I am bringing balance to my basement. Don't call me a hero, though. Okay. You can call me a hero.

There are 2 rooms in my basement I never ever ever go into. Ever. I don't think those 2 rooms have seen light in a long time. Heroes don't need to go into those rooms.

In short, I make art. I have a creepy basement. I do improv. I'm a hero. All these things but the basement can be explored at the Bovine Metropolis Theater. The Bovine is not paying me any money for this unadulterated promotion. I like money.

Bye! I'm Jake!