Seattle Comedy Competition Round 1, Part 2: The Fat Bum Sings

Hi! I'm Jake!

As some of you may know, this week, I am competing in round 1 of the Seattle International Comedy Competition. Each round lasts 1 week. There is a preliminary round, a semi-final round, and a final round. Last night was round 1, show 2.

If you read my previous entry, you know that 2 nights ago, I swallowed my gum on stage and then choked. If you did not read that entry, click here so you know that I swallowed my gum then choked. I'm not the only one who blogged about it. Check out my friend Peter's review by clicking here.

We performed at Great American Casino in Lakewood, WA, just outside Tacoma. They didn't have a green room, so I ran around back behind the building to do some yoga. I was pretty wound up after the gum incident. I also peed 4 times before the show. This paid off. I was loose, limber, and pee free. I had a good set.

After the show, as my friends and I got in the car, this tubby, soused, Native American lady approached us with her sad "I need something from you" face. We all hustled to get in the car as fast as possible.

Unfortunately, she waddled over too quickly. Like a stressful scene in a zombie movie, Jon did not make it in time. He was still getting in the car when sasquatch lady asked him for some change. "Sorry I can't help you." She relentlessly kept asking and he kept engaging in futile dialogue. It was like dealing with a drunk telemarketer. She had a slurred rebuttal for each of Jon's responses. Larry broke the pattern. "Get in the car, Jon," he said.

Then the lady asked for a bigger favor, "I lost my belt. I need a ride." Both her pants and her sad eyes were sagging. However, we could not accomodate her request. First off, it didn't make any sense. She was obviously able to waddle over to us, despite her beltlessness. Secondly, there were already 4 of us tightly squeezed into the car. "Sorry. There isn't room," Susan said.

When Jon got in the car, he realized her lost belt/ hitchhiking request didn't make sense. He tried to translate it, "Maybe 'I lost my belt. I need a ride' means 'Get me in the car and my pants will fall down. I need a ride.'" It's true, best case scenario, this lady was offering her services in exchange for a lift. However, her best offer was still our worst nightmare.

My theory is since we were at a casino, maybe she lost her belt in a game of strip poker. After she took it off, everybody saw her tubby gut pop out and realized that even if they won, they were still going to lose. So they ended the game.

In short, we left Frumpy Dumpty at the casino where she belonged. Her tribe will take care of her.

Round 1 continues tonight at the Auburn Ave Theater in Auburn, WA. So far, I've had gum and I met a bum. Maybe tonight, I'll get some chum.

Bye! I'm Jake!