My wife is away!

Hi!  I'm Jake!

This week, I perform at the Loony Bin in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Yay!  I haven't been there in awhile.  It's a really fun club. I'm there Wednesday, December 19th through Saturday, December 22nd.  If you want to come, just call (918) 392-5653, make a reservation, and say you are with Jake Sharon.

The only thing is, yesterday, my wife's family missed their daughter so they flew her home for the holidays.  I won't see her till I drive there on the 23rd.

NEGATIVE:
I am missing my wife for a whole week!  I hate being without her.  She is my snuggle buddy. She is my constant inspiration.  I write a lot of jokes about her.  Also,  she cracks the whip.  She makes sure I write a lot of jokes about her!

When Callie is gone, it reminds me of my old bachelor days. I was like an aimless Ronin.  I wandered aimlessly without a master- without purpose.

Yep.  I just called Callie my Master.  She tells me what to do and what not to do.  If she was here right now, she would say "You better not tell people I'm bossy!"

The point is, I miss her so much!

POSITIVE:
When the master's away, Jake can play!  I do whatever I want!  Last night, I stayed up till 3:00 a.m. I didn't have to listen to country music.  I listened to my own music.  I was in the Court of The Crimson King!  I ate 3 bratwurst and I made a smoothie with sweet potatoes in it!  True story!  It was delicious!   I make my own rules!

CONCLUSION:
Without Callie, I will probably die- not just of heartbreak- I will probably die die.  When I am by myself, I make a lot of bad decisions. Right now, I am juggling knives.  I have never juggled before! I can't wait to see her again!  I want to live!

By the way, to help distract me, please come to my shows in Tulsa.  I will tell you all about her (everything about her)!

Oh yeah:  check out this past episode of The Battery Podcast.  I recorded a great conversation with John Tole this summer  and it suddenly became relevant again last week.  Check out "John Tole 2: Fancy Suits are Distracting. "   http://jakeisfantastic.com/thebattery.html

Bye!  I'm Jake!

P.S.  Here is a great video my awesome wife made. Please "like" it on Youtube.  Thanks!



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