The One Good Bachelorette Party

Hi!  I'm Jake!
one of Maggie Maye's
facebook photos
illustrating her amazing hair
(used without explicit permission).
Thanks, Maggie!

I just uploaded The Battery Podcast Episode 58, "Maggie Maye 3: Dark Secret, Crazy Wig, Jing Aling Ding."  I had a really fun chat with Maggie about why she wears so many wigs!  I also talk about dark secrets, and A Crazy Thing You Can Do Instead Of Committing Suicide, "Jing Aling Ding!" Check it out here:

This week, I am at the Tulsa Loony Bin, working with Brandon Vestal, a really funny guy I met at Laughing Skull Comedy Festival 2010.  Really enjoying his act.  You have to check him out!

At tonight's late show, we had a bachelorette party.

Ugh.  Late show Fridays are usually super rowdy, full of drunks that have been drinking the entire 5 hours since they got off work.

Tulsa Loony Bin
To make things worse, bachelorette parties are usually the worst, most self-involved, discourteous, teenager-loud, half-brained, twice-inebriated, penis-cake smudging, "I didn't understand that joke so I'll drunkenly tell the whole crowd that" audience members you can experience.

Bachelorette parties  carry an air of royalty- not the regal, pomp and circumstance parliamentary procedure  kind of royalty, but the "if you don't do as I say and drink from this spittoon, I'll behead you then castrate your dad" kind of royalty. I guess they figure since they think their bride friend is so special, everybody around them who paid to watch the show gives a crap about them too!  Clue: they don't.  Unless you shut up and watch the show, nobody gives a crap about your dumb wedding.  They only worry for your groom.  Poor guy!  He is so screwed!  I bet he can't wait for the divorce!

Below is a box of penis straws.  For some reason, bachelorette parties buy them.  If for some reason, you are a bachelorette party planner that enjoys  all the penis paraphernalia hoopla -and you somehow managed to read this whole thing without getting mad at me, here are some penis straws you can buy for your girlfriends' Jagerbombs!

If you want to just come out and call your friend a princess, here is a tiara too!  Enjoy!

I don't even know why most bachelorette parties even come to a comedy show.  They are usually so into whatever deep, philosophical conversations they are having with each other they miss 90% of the show.  The only parts of the show they ever hear are when the comedians are talking shit about them!  Then, because of their entitled bridezilla arrogance, they can't even fathom why anybody would ever have anything negative to say about them.  You just ruined 300 other people's evenings you dumb cock-cake-eaters!

However, tonight's bachelorette party was just great!  For the most part, they listened as well as possible.  They didn't come to the show to be the center of attention.  No penis cakes in the show room.  No barfing.  No acting like whore cats, rubbing up agains every pole-like surface. They were just respectful, bright, cheery, ladies who gave their girlfriend a nice night out. They came to laugh.

Moreover, this whole crowd defied the traditional wild west, late show Friday tradition.  They were all cool.  This was my favorite show of the week so far!

I totally misjudged the bachelorette party.  Turns out I am prejudiced against them- and this time I was wrong.  You can't just a cock-cake-consortium by their cover.

Bye!  I'm Jake!