Real quick: be sure to check out last week's Battery Podcast, "Bob Khosravi 1: Locust Support." Austin comedian Bob Khosravi talks about working customer support so you kind of get a flip side on who's on the other end of the phone. It was a really fun conversation. Check it out here:
http://thebattery.podbean.com/2013/02/01/bob-khosravi-1-locust-support/
Cool. Down to business:
Yesterday, I just got back from my honeymoon. So, I should be all refreshed and relaxed. However, because I drank my first cup of coffee in a really long time, I am all cracked out on caffeine.
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| This is what I look like when I have too much caffeine. "5:30 a.m." by Jake Sharon acrylics, paper, wheat paste, on masonite |
Coffee makes me irritable, unfocused, and smelly. That's right: my pits get super stinky when I have had too much coffee. I am not sure why- but I am sure about the stink. So is my wife.
Coffe makes me take a lot of poop breaks. That's stinky too.
Coffee makes my breath taste like driftwood. Tastes like the bad kind of beaver, the kind that will bite your leg real hard if you step on its dam
I can't focus! When you're unfocused it's hard to get things done. When you're also irritable, poopy, and stinky, nobody wants to be around you to help you get those things done either. Do it yourself, dog breath!
Also, I am itchy. Not sure if that's related. Might be a separate problem.
POSITIVE:
Because of the caffeine, my jaw hurts, too. I have been clenching it all day.
As a positive, though, working those jaw muscles makes them super strong. So if you need to crack some walnuts, I am your man.
More importantly though, my general displeasure with caffeine has helped me realize I could never do harder stimulants like coke or meth. If one cup of joe makes me feel that bad, imagine a 3-day meth bender! Talk about unfocused! I guarantee I couldn't get work done if I was counting my socks and picking my crackne scabs all day!
CONCLUSION:
No more coffee for me anymore. Need to go on another honeymoon so I can be all relaxed again.
Bye! I'm Jake!
