Hangin Tough, And What Turned Into a Letter to NKOTB and YOU.

Hi!  I'm Jake!

One of my comedy buddies just got some great news.  So,  I decided to add to his good vibes by sharing an integral part of my successful 90s lifestyle, the song Hanging Tough, by New Kids On The Block.

Just to see what I was actually posting on my friend's wall, I just watched the music video for Hanging Tough- and it is just so, so funny.

NKOTB: Hangin Tougher Than
A Boy's Killer Whale.

NKOTB was the test boy-band.  If NKOTB worked out then the record producers and the corporate machine could create N'SYNC, Bieber, other boy bands. And it's all going in One Direction, down! We're all going to die!

Well, not now. We'll die a long, long time from now!  I have to put that on the internet because people these days are crazy so they think normal people like me are are crazy too.

But yeah: New Kids On The Block was so BIG!  They put NKOTB on FREE WILLY.  That's about a killer whale!  How much bigger do you want?

I won't spoil this video.  It's so awesome, Check out the 80s looking chicks going ape for the kid with the clipper dents on the side of his head that lead to his rat-tail.  I'm calling you out, Donnie Wahlberg!  Are you kidding me?!  I mean, I like you.  You got your leg chopped off in SAW II. Well done.  But, I dare you to sport that NKOTB rat tail with skids haircut now.  It's not going to fly.

Glad things are going well for you, overall, though.

Also, say hi to Marky Mark.  Now he is a talented actor!  And he didn't even chop his leg off!  He punched himself to make the other guy in the movie have some FEAR (starring Mark Wahlberg).  Marky has the Right Stuff, baby!

Marky Markberg:  I am talking to you now. Glad you didn't go with the name Marcus Wahlberg.  I just don't like that name.  Prove me wrong!  Mark works, though.

That part felt like a letter.  One of my goals this year was to write a letter to somebody.  Well, this is on the internet.  So I wrote it to EVERYBODY!

Well, I mainly wrote that part to Mark Wahlberg.

Well, I wrote this letter to everybody except China, Verizon or Comcast customers! Duh. Sorry guys.  You're not going to see this blog entry.  China, Verizon, and Comcast are all throwing out net neutrality.  So, they will censor your internet for you- for only $40 a month! Since you can't see this article,  go look at some sheep or some other animal that's being herded.

Uh, so here's the video!

Bye!  I'm Jake!

P.S. Just fooling about the whole net-neutrality-slash-China, Verizon, Communistcast thing.  This is a good thing.  We can finally say whatever is on our minds especially if it has to deal with controversial things like fucking, stabbing, overthrowing the government, or how Comcast and Verizon are heavy-handed big-business bullies who (with the help of their money chucking lobbyist groups and our weak-moraled elected leaders) are helping destroy America one internet browse at a time.

P.P.S. Also, NKOTB: I should tell you I used to look way douchier than you guys did.  It was just awful.  My clothes were awful.  My hair was awful. My acne was awful.  Thanks for being there to get me through the hard times.

P.P.P.S. Also, One Direction's haircuts are just the worst!  What a bunch of gomer hairdos!  Hey, One Direction blonde kid with the dumb hair, you're holding the team back. The rest of you need to get your business together then help blondie cause he looks like ten times douchier than Bieber used to.

I wish I could zap One Direction back to the 90s so you could teach them how to get their business together!  Bieber can teach them about talent, and you (NKOTB)  can take off their clothes and help them do stuff.  You could help them learn to do the running man correctly for once! How hard is that, One Direction children?!