Hi! I'm Jake!
Tonight is round 2 of the Nobody Likes Me Comedy Contest, the only contest that rewards both the winner- and the loser! Last week, Tony Tafuro moved on to the final round as the winner and Cougar Carol moved on as the loser!
Now, recently, I learned that I can't use actual names without making people mad, so here's my preview for the contest tonight, but with modified names!
Kris Sharpeemarker will twist his moustache and smell it!
Kris Binglinger will talk about how he is short he is because he grew up in the South. They have a higher level of gravity down there. That's why they are slow.
Chuey Baca will talk about his Wookie planet and how he looks like a Wookie terrorist. He's also really loud. You can sit outside and still hear his set.
Mark Falconer will talk about how he looks like Boot Camp aficionado, Bobby Bird.
Byron Tabula Rasa (only nerds get this reference) will talk about how red his eyes are. You don't have to get stoned before every set, wigger!
Gordon Smuckerjam will make fun of hobos, customers, and the ladies, with his Bill Cosby impressions and Salt N Pepa insults.
Jill Gassy will explain her divorce. Note: it's probably cause she's gassy. Dutch ovens are only funny when men do them.
Anthony Scotown will drive all the way down from Cheyenne for a big disappointment.
Kyle Logan will arrive via lightrail. Choo choo!
You probably won't get any of these jokes unless you show up. So don't be a loser. Come to the show.
11th and Lincoln.
8pm. Doors open at 7pm.
$5 cover gets you a free drink.
Here's a link to the facebook event: http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=103977506333430&ref=ts
Here's a link to the website: http://www.jakeisfantastic.com/nobodylikesme.html
Headliner Trey Baxter will drink a lot.
Bye! I'm Jake!