Chinese Sewer Baby!

Hi!  I'm Jake!

Today in China, a baby was rescued from the sewer.

POSITIVE:
A Chinese baby was rescued from the sewer.  This is good because they saved a baby's life.

Also, in the next few days,  comedians will make great Chinese sewer baby jokes.  Which Chinese sewer baby joke do you want me to make?  A "China hates girl babies" joke or a "dig a hole to China" joke? Here are both:

  • Today in China, a baby was rescued from the sewer.  Then they found out it was a girl & put it back. 
  • Today in China, a baby was rescued from the sewer.  Hey, baby: if you dig to China, don't settle for the sewer. Dig to the place where they make toys.


NEGATIVE:
The Chinese rescued a sewer baby.
The world lost a hero.
We have no idea if this rescued baby will become a good person. What if he grows up to be the kind of person who puts babies in the sewer?  Now we have even more babies in the sewer!  How horrible!

Also, now that somebody rescued this sewer baby,  people know they can be irresponsible with their sewer babies.  Again: the result is more babies in the sewer!  Dang it China!

Lastly, by rescuing this sewer baby, we're keeping this baby from coming in contact with toxic substances and mutating into a strong super baby!  We're  missing out on the chance to have the world's first Teenage Mutant Ninja Baby!  Dammit, you selfish baby rescuers!  

CONCLUSION:
Keep sewer babies in the sewer where they belong! Geez!

Bye!  I'm Jake!

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