IHi! I'm Jake!
What's up, motherlovers? Your mom brought you into this world. She either went through a bunch of pain or got cut open like a horror movie. Or she took the time to kidnap you. Then, she raised you and wiped the snot off your nose last week. So your mom deserves the best Mother's Day present $20 or less can buy.
If you're like me, you put off getting your mom a present and you need some ideas quick! Here are 5 Cheap Mother's Day Presents to Honor Your Mom:
Get your mom a pendant with your picture- because you are vain. Put your naked baby picture on the left side. On the right side, put your adult naked picture. Now your mom can see the fruits of her labor!
Think how much fun your mom will have exercising her thighs. Just picture it. Nice.
Get your mom jacked up so when she talks to you on the phone, the conversation can end in a timely fashion. Less detail, more speed, mom!
For yelling at your dad- or Wal-Mart (which is probably where you got the megaphone). Next time you go to Wal-Mart to complain, buy a megaphone there and mega-complain!
PET URINE DETECTOR
You love your mom. She didn't throw you in the trash. Buy her stuff.
Bye! I'm Jake!